Let’s get this out of the way. The “Benny Bombers” are hands down the hottest team in the league right now. Four weeks ago, they sat one game under .500, but have since gone on a tear, performing their hearts out and racking up a four game win streak culminating in this week’s victory. They faced “Meat is Murder” and beat them handedly. Last week, this matchup was highlighted as the game of the week. Both teams sat at 6-4, tied for second place in the East, and one couldn’t help but get the feeling that this game had the ability to determine the trajectory of their fates through the rest of the season.
Thanks to strong performances from his pitchers, specifically David Price, Pittalia’s “Bombers” beat “Murder” by forty points. This game put the “Bombers” in sole possession of second place and two games behind the “Mikey Bombers,” a team that Pittalia’s team had to beat during this win streak. The “Bennys” are one of two teams to beat the “Mikeys” this season, which could play out in an interesting fashion towards the end of the season, depending on the circumstances. The question is whether or not the “Benny Bombers” will be able to continue this magic. We can pretty confidently say that at least for next week they will. They face the dismal “Relieving Myself,” who after last week are now in double-digit losses with a 1-10 record. “Relieving” is yet to post a score higher than 300 points this season, which should make a standard, strong performance from the “Bombers” sufficient enough to extend this win streak to 5 games.
This loss does not spell the end for “Meat is Murder,” but it’s a cause for concern. Due to the league’s tiebreaker bylaws, “Meat is Murder” fell behind “The Credible Hulk” to fourth place this week. After the “Hulk’s” destruction of the “88-Train,” the two teams both have a 6-5 record, and another huge matchup this upcoming week. If this game does not go “Murder’s” way, than a small misstep could be compounded to put the team in an extremely precarious place.
This was a big week for “The Credible Hulk,” and they stepped up to the plate. Vying for contention in a division that has slowly become a quagmire, their Week 10 loss put them behind at .500, and trailing their peers. This week they faced their bitter rival, “the 88-Train.” The week started off contentious, as it always tends to with these two teams. When asked about their chances in a pregame press conference, the “Hulk’s” manager, Will Santomero, simply laughed. “Next question,” he answered, barely able to get out the two words through his guffaws. This ignited a war of words that culminated in the “88-Train” alluding towards recent allegations of a mascot sex scandal in the “Hulk’s” organization. But words only mean so much, and this week only one team put their money where their mouth was. In a fit of Hulkomania, the “Hulk” clobbered his rival to advance to 6-5.
For the “88-Train,” this loss just adds to the team’s woes. Can you believe at one point this was a team above .500? After week 5 this team was 3-2, but since that point have had the worst run in the league, besides “Relieving Myself,” who are so bad its questionable whether or not they should even be in this conversation. The “88s” have lost six in a row, and now have the worst record in the league, sans “Relieving.” They have gotten increasingly desperate. A misguided, midseason rebranding has only brought on allegations of plagiarism, rather than exciting the organization and its fans. Their “new strategy” has only continued old habits. Desperate for a win, they made a blockbuster trade last week with the “D-Train.” In return for Ian Kinsler, Buster Posey, and Xander Bogarts, they received ace pitcher, Jake Arrieta. They gave up a lot, but it’ll be interesting to see if this trade can give them a little spark. Let’s hope it happens soon, because as the team drops lower and lower in the standings, it seems clearer each week that they might need to sell house before the trade deadline.
In the Western Conference, the “D-Train” regained a handle on first place after demolishing “Relieving Myself.” The one win for “Relieving Myself,” came in Week 2 against the “Train,” a defeat that Sniatkowski’s squad did not take lightly. He swore vengeance, and wow did he get it. Like Stalin’s Red Army tearing across Eastern Europe at the end of the Second World War, the “D-Train” scorched “Relieving Myself.” With the loss of “Green Day’s Mookie” to the “Mikey Bombers,” the “D-Train” sits at the top of the West, thanks to an advantageous tiebreaker over “Mookie.”
“Mookie’s” loss the “Mikey Bombers” continues a trend that has pretty much become a league standard in matchups with the “Bombers.” Opponents jump out to an early lead. Everyone gets excited thinking that this will be the week, this will finally be the week that someone knocks this team down a peg. Then the weekend arrives and the “Bombers” destroy all those hopes and dreams. Its as if they have been commissioned by some cruel Norse deity to mock us and our humanity by giving us glimpses of hope and transcendence before obliterating everything and reminding us that we are but small insignificant creatures living in a cold, cold universe. Well they did it again, beating “Mookie” by ninety points.
How do you solve a problem like “A-Rod’s Girlfriends?” The team has hovered around .500 the entire year, and has squandered all of their promising win. Well it happened again this week. Sitting within striking distance of both “Mookie” and “the D-Train,” the team suffered a bad loss to “Mac’s Smelly Sox” this week. It’s clear that in the “Girlfriends” case, personnel management is to blame. The team’s manager, Steve Mastro, insists on pitching James Shields, despite the starting pitcher’s dismal performances over the last few weeks. One can only question the manager’s decision-making process after allowing Shields to continue to start despite his lackluster play. It’s clear that he needs to be sat, but its questionable if Mastro is willing to make this move.
For Mastro’s opponent, “Mac’s Smelly Sox,” this victory proved to be not only huge in the standings, but a major win for the team’s morale also. The “Sox” have had a rough go of it, but after this week they’ve advanced to 4-7, and only one game behind “A-Rods Girlfriends” in the standings. They’ve improved to seventh overall in the league, and have won two games in a row. Of their four wins, one has been against the “Mikey Bombers” which shows that this team can step up when they want to. Let’s hope that this victory inspires that craving, because they’ll need it this upcoming week when they face off against “Green Day’s Mookie.” An upset here could pay dividends for the “Sox.” Thanks to the six-team playoff structure, a few more wins could give the squad an outside chance of making it into the playoffs this year. Quite a feat for a team who started off 2-7.
While our recaps here tend to deal with on the field activity, sometimes there are sideline developments that become impossible to ignore. There have recently been allegations of a mascot sex scandal circling around the “Credible Hulk’s” clubhouse. The lack of substantiated fact, as well as the anatomical build of the Credible Hulk’s mascot, has left us with a confused mess of rumors and whispers. We will try to monitor this story as it develops over the next few weeks.
Team to Watch Out For: Mac’s Smelly Sox– They’ve played big against tough opponents in the past. Will they be able to do it again?
Matchup of the Week: Meat is Murder vs. The Credible Hulk– It’s hard to tell if its promising or discouraging that “Murder” continues to be a matchup of the week.
- Mikey Bombers (9-2)
- Benny Bombers (7-4)
- The Credible Hulk (6-5)
- Meat is Murder (6-5)
- The 88 Train (3-8)
- The D-Train (7-4)
- Green Day’s Mookie (7-4)
- A-Rod’s Girlfriends (5-6)
- Mac’s Smelly Sox (4-7)
- Relieving Myself (1-10)