In a cold dark corner of the globe, the Western Siberian village of Pokrovskoe , a young boy is born. The year is 1869. The fifth child out of nine, but only one of two to survive, the boy will find himself shrouded in mystique. The villagers believe him to be endowed with mystical abilities. He eventually joins the religious life and develops the reputation of being a talented healer. This boy, now a man, finds himself in the employ of the Russian Royal family, charged with the task of healing the Tsar’s young boy Alexei, who suffers from hemophelia, the result of years and years of inbreeding in royal families across Europe.
The young boy is Gregori Rasputin. Now a trusted member of the tsars inner circle, Nicolas Romanov grants Rasputin more and more of a role in his government. As World War I spins out of control, Rapustin finds himself as the Tsar’s most trusted adviser. But this mystical man has enemies, enemies who try to assassinate him on multiple occasions. The first occurs in 1914. This one doesn’t get him. But they’ll try again.
At a house party in 1916, these enemies poison Rasputin with cyanide. Not yet satisfied, they shoot the man, and leave him for dead. But this shot won’t kill him. He walks up the stairs, unwilling to die, shocking all the partygoers. Again, he is shot. But he won’t die. Finally they shoot him square in the forehead and dump the body into the Malaya Nevka River. But still, rumors persist that he survives.
Sound familiar? This past week, the “A-Rod’s Girlfriends” defeated the “Credible Hulk,” putting them in a tie for that final playoff spot. Just a couple of weeks ago, it seemed the “Girlfriends” fate was sealed. They were pretty much out of the picture and destined to the losers bracket this postseason. But they’re like the eighth studio album from The Ramones, Too Tough to Die. Backed by their “Die Bitch Die,” rallying cry, they have made a late season run, and with one week to go could possibly grab that final playoff spot.
On the other hand, this is a tough one for the “Hulk.” They’ve lost three in a row now. Just a few weeks ago, they were in four-way tie for the last playoff spot, but after three tough losses they’ve found themselves barely hanging on to their postseason hopes. This week, both the “Hulk” and the “Girlfriends” find themselves in a must win scenario. The Hulk faces off against “Mac’s Smelly Sox,” while the “Girlfriends” take on “Meat is Murder.”
As far as the rest of the playoff seeding, nothing has really changed. Victories for both the “D-Train” and “Green Day’s Mookie” keep the standings in the West the same as last week, with the “D-Train” in first by a half a game. A loss for “Meat is Murder” drops them behind “The Benny Bombers” who mercilessly had their way with “The Durag Vince McMahons.” They are now one game behind the “Clancy Bombers” who lost to “Mookie.” The “Benny Bombers” are now on a four game win streak. They’re arguably the hottest team in the league, but we’ve seen this before. Earlier in the season they went on a win streak, only to follow it up with a multiple game skid. It would be a shame if they peak here and don’t carry this performance into the playoffs.
Then there’s the “McBadBats,” a team that’s arrogance is a sheer wonder of nature. How can a team this bad have such a misplaced level of confidence. After their tie against the “D-Train” in Week 16, their manager boasted about their ease of schedule going into the final weeks of the season. He began listing off the teams. “A-Rods Girlfriends, Mac’s Smelly Sox, and the Durag Vince McMahons, no problem,” he said. What was so perplexing about these claims were that two of those teams, the “Girlfriends” and the “Sox” are objectively better. This week offered more of the same. “Mac’s Smelly Sox” beat the “McBadbats” again. Again these games don’t mean much in the standings, but they do show how much pride a team has.
But these two teams do have (semi) meaningful games this week. The “Sox” could play spoiler to the “Hulk’s” playoff dreams with a win this week. On the other hand, the “McBadBats” face off against the “Durag Vince McMahons” who still have not gotten their second win. Again, we’re all hoping for the sake of the “McMahons” that they get it this week. It would be wonderful, and even more wonderful if that win was against the “McBadBats.
Teams to Watch Out For: The Credible Hulk and The A-Rods Girlfriends– Both teams are fighting for the last playoff position. Kind of goes without saying.
Matchup of the Week: The Durag Vince McMahons vs. The McBadBats- And for the coming of the second win for the McMahons, we pray. Amen.
- Mikey Bombers (13-5)*
- Benny Bombers (12-6)*
- Meat is Murder (11-7)*
- The Credible Hulk (9-9)
- The McBadBats (5-11-1)
- The D-Train (11-6-1)*
- Green Day’s Mookie (11-7)*
- A-Rod’s Girlfriends (9-9)
- Mac’s Smelly Sox (7-11)
- The Durag Vince McMahons (1-17)
*Clinched Playoff Position