The Fort Fantasy Baseball League Week 3 Recap: If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

Children’s Author Laura Joffe Numeroff once wrote, “If you give a mouse a cookie, he’ll ask for a glass of milk. If you give a mouse a glass of milk…” and so on. While the “Mikey Bombers” aren’t actually mice, their diminutive Manager is known for his persistence and determination to get his way. Most famously, he one time prodded his college roommate to drive him to the Five Guys Burger and Fries on New York Ave in Washington, D.C. simply by sporadic finger poking and incessantly repeating “Come On Dude.”

The “Bombers” went winless during the first two weeks of the season- not exactly the performance a reigning champion would be happy with. This week, they notched a tally in the win column with their victory over the “Machado Men.” With this ten point victory, the “Bombers” delivered the “Men’s” first loss of the season. This game was surrounded by hype, even garnering the title of game of the week. For the “Men,” it would have been a statement to start their season off 3-0, especially with one of those wins coming against the “Bombers.” They still came to play, staying competitive through Sunday. This shouldn’t cause concern for the “Men,” but it just might for the rest of the league. While this is only one win for the “Mikey Bombers,” this mouse just got its first cookie, and we all know what that can result in.

The “Machado Men” may have lost their first game, but one team still remains undefeated. “Green Day’s Mookie” won their third game in a row, defeating the “Benny Bombers.” Coming off a week where they lit up the league with over 400 points, the “B.Bombers” scored under 300 in Week 3 as they dropped to 1-2 on the season. While they have demonstrated their ability to score big, the “B.Bombers” performances suggest that the team is a tad inconsistent. This might just be early season jitters, as the team takes time to settle in, but if these fluctuations continue, the “B.Bombers” might find it hard to replicate their success of last season.

As they advance to 3-0, “Green Day’s Mookie” continue to impress. They’re notching solid performances that suggest a team that’s ready for the long run. Their play isn’t flashy. It’s consistent and, importantly, consistently good. This is a team that came into has started off the year in midseason form.

“Tim Tebow is Jesus” garnered their first win of the season. It’s been a tough April for them as they’ve been crippled by early injuries. In spite of this, they scored the most points in the league this week, as they beat “Mac’s Smelly Sox.” The “Sox” loss to “Jesus” drops them to 1-2 this season. Both losses have been rough for the squad. In Week 2, they lost by six to division rival, “Piscotty 2 Hotty.” While their Week 3 loss wasn’t as close, they performed well. These could just be brushed off as early season losses, but both came against division rivals and could hurt them in a close pennant race.

Last week “Piscotty 2 Hotty” managed to win the third game in the history of their franchise. We covered their bizarre post game comments in our column that Monday, noting the gap between the historical performance of the “Hotties” and their delusional sense of self. Well, things may have returned to normal with this squad. The “Hotties” lost this week in a fashion typical of their franchise. Their 94 point loss to “The D-Train” kept their press corps pretty quiet this Monday. The “Hotties” do have a slew of injuries right now, which no doubt affected their play this week. This is a team that, if healthy, could easily see a marked improvement from 2016, and they seem ready to do so. That being said, they should take some notes from “The Machado Men.” A loud and volatile presence in the media doesn’t necessarily translate to on-field success.

The sibling rivalry between “Meat is Murder” and “The Credible Hulk” did not turn out to deliver the thrills expected in a fraternal matchup. The “Hulk” came out victorious, but failed to muster 250 points. This loss is more of a hit to “Murder,” who have lost two in a row. In “Murder’s” Week 2 loss, the team scored the second most points in the league, but lost to the “Benny Bombers”(another familial rival), who scored the most points that week. “Murder” was quick to point out this fact and tried to victimize their club. Well, maybe they should have spent less time drawing attention to what still amounted to a loss, and focused more on this week’s matchup. That’s two losses in a row for “Murder,” both at the hands of division/family rivals. While the “Hulk” managed to advance to 2-1, it shouldn’t be with much confidence. After this week it’s clear that if a meteor hit, these two brothers would be slow to start running, let alone deal with giant cat monsters and a Mexican Armada armed with tomato guns.

Team to Watch: Green Day’s Mookie– They’re the only undefeated team left.

Game of the Week: Benny Bombers vs. The Credible Hulk– A win this week would make the “Hulk” 3-1 against the Eastern Division. They could come out of this week an early favorite.

Standings:

East:

  1. The Machado Men (2-1)
  2. The Credible Hulk (2-1)
  3. The Benny Bombers (1-2)
  4. Meat is Murder (1-2)
  5. The Mikey Bomber (1-2)

West:

  1. Green Day’s Mookie (3-0)
  2. The D Train (2-1)
  3. Mac’s Smelly Sox (1-2)
  4. Tim Tebow is Jesus (1-2)
  5. Piscotty 2 Hotty (1-2)

Fun Fact of the Week: In 2015, the entire Western Division went under .500.

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