That’s two losses in a Row-cho for the team owned by Ocho. “The Machado Men” fell to .500 this week after a loss to “Piscotty 2 Hotty.” After a hot start to the season, the “Machado Men” find themselves bumping elbows with everyone else who went .500 in April. While they can’t be too happy sharing this company, their opponent “Piscotty 2 Hotty” must be. They’ve already matched their win total from 2016 and seem to at least be trying to win some games this season.
With a loss to “Mac’s Smelly Sox,” “Green Day’s Mookie” lost their first game of the season. Hopefully, this game will be the Nimrod of their season, not their 21st Century Breakdown. While they’re still 3-1, they’ve dropped down to second overall in the league. Now, this is more than likely a minor hiccup for a team that dominated the first three weeks. But taken with the injuries plaguing their pitching staff, they have to be hoping this hiccup doesn’t cause them to hold their breath too long while stifling other hiccups, in an attempt to get rid of said hiccups. On the other hand, the “Sox” put up strong numbers this week, ending a two game slide and granting themselves some relevance at 2-2.
“The Credible Hulk” managed to enter May as the top team in the league with their victory over the “Benny Bombers.” Both teams put up high totals and added the familial fire that was missing in the “Hulk’s” week 3 matchup. This was the game to watch last week with good reason. With both teams on opposite sides of .500, the matchup had a strong effect on the hierarchy of the division. The “Hulk’s” victory left the squad with a 3-1 record, while sending the “Bombers” down to 1-3. This puts the “Hulk” in firm control of first in the East with a bit of space to breath.
In the West, the matchup between “Tim Tebow is Jesus” and “The D-Train” shared similar ramifications. The “Train” entered the game 2-1, while “Jesus” came in fresh off their first win and ready to make a go at .500. After spending Monday and Tuesday in the negatives, “Tim Tebow” tried to make up ground, but ultimately started too far in the whole to come back late in the week. The “Train” won handedly, advancing to 3-1.
In 1990, LL Cool J famously commanded his audience not to “call it a comeback.” 12 years later, Eminem donned a superhero suit while taunting “Guess who’s back / Back again.” After starting April winless, “The Mikey Bombers” have finished the month ready to make similar taunts. This week they smacked “Meat is Murder,” scoring over four hundred points and reaching .500. Come on we all knew this was going to happen, right? Clancy is the Dr. Fucking Faust of fantasy sports.
This loss drops “Murder” to 1-3 and last in the East. Luckily this time around, their communications director isn’t complaining about scoring the second most points in the league.
April Observation: The first month of the season has ended. It’s far too early to make any definitive claims on how this season will progress, but it is clear that the league has gotten more competitive.
Hot Take of the Month: “Piscotty 2 Hotty” makes a run at the playoffs.
Team to Watch: The Mikey Bombers – If you give a mouse a cookie….
Game of the Week: Piscotty 2 Hotty vs. Tim Tebow is Jesus – Two friends drawn apart by years of mutual animosity and thrown into a furious stalemate of hatred. It’s a story of love gone wrong, and it’s one for the ages. Plus, “Piscotty 2 Hotty” has the chance to go over .500 for the first time in the franchise’s history.
- The Credible Hulk (3-1)
- The Machado Men (2-2)
- The Mikey Bombers (2-2)
- The Benny Bombers (2-2)
- Meat is Murder (1-3)
- Green Day’s Mookie (3-1)
- The D-Train (3-1)
- Mac’s Smelly Sox (2-2)
- Piscotty 2 Hotty (2-2)
- Tim Tebow is Jesus (1-3)
Fun Fact of the Week: Fans of the New York Baseball Mets may not find this fact particularly fun – Anthony Rendon helped propel “The Mikey Bombers” to victory this week. He was the team’s high scorer with 37 points, 31 of which were scored on Sunday.